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First published in Well-being 4-1, December 2009 Nicki Weld (2009) Making Sure Children Get ‘HELD’ – Ideas and Resources to Help Workers Place Hope, Empathy, Love and Dignity at the Heart of Child Protection and Support, Lyme Regis, Russell House Publishing, ISBN 978-1-905541-55-3 , £19.95
This is a manual-type book primarily for workers and students involved with children and families working across welfare, health and education. Its central premise is that human qualities, referred to by the author as qualities of the heart – Hope, Empathy, Love and Dignity (HELD) need to be in the centre stage of our work, but also in the lives of families and society as a whole. Weld argues that these qualities, which come under the broad concept of emotional intelligence are the way forward supported by our intellectual abilities. She says, ‘it is time that heart and spirit become the primary information source to guide our interpersonal relationships’. The book begins with a description of some of the key aspects of child development and how both positive and negative parenting can impact upon this. Weld shows how negative and destructive experiences in childhood can explain but not excuse some of the most violent and abusive behaviour of adults. This is then followed by a chapter on each of the four components of HELD. I found the style of writing to be passionate, compassionate and persuasive, making a convincing case as to why Hope, Empathy, Love and Dignity are so important. The writing is clear and easy to read, whilst at the same time being clearly underpinned by contemporary knowledge on child development. Reflecting the qualities of the heart, the argument is qualitative and of an inspirational quality. It reminds us why we are in this work – to make a meaningful difference to the lives of others through our emotional and practical involvement with them. Weld is clear to point out this involvement is not sentimental or self-centred in any way and it is about recognizing and respecting the other’s need as separate to one’s own needs. At the end of each chapter are ten practical strategies for parents, families, workers and communities to ensure children get HELD. Again, these are clear, easy to follow and helpful. Case examples are provided to show how the author and parents have used these strategies with positive results. These examples are very poignant and moving in themselves. The last part of the manual provides a number of resources which can be photocopied and used to aid thinking about HELD, gathering information, assessment, planning and intervention. These are useful and focus on identifying vulnerabilities/worries, drawing upon strengths/good things to move forward towards hopes and dreams/possibilities. The approach is one that ‘shifts us from problem saturated conversations to looking at possible solutions built on what they may already do well’. I found the book to be informative, inspiring and also practical. It makes you want to strive towards doing a better job but also to be a better person and gives you some clear ideas on how to put that into practice. Patrick Tomlinson Patrick Tomlinson Associates www.patricktomlinson.com.
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